Monday, June 13, 2011

Blazin Beckett {Chapter Three}

You can find the Prolouge HERE. Chapter One HERE. Chapter Two HERE.

Chapter Three. {Close Those Legs, Girrrrl!}

So, there we were. Back at home. Every stinkin male in my house was asleep. Including the dog. You would think that AT LEAST the dang dog would sense what was going on. Don't they say that dogs have this crazy innate sense? Like some can sense when someone is about to have a heart attack? And some are used in therapy to help people heal? And on and on. Well not our dog. Ohhhhhh no. Maverick was all sprawled out and as whacked out of his mind in sleep, as my husband was.

So, onto the previously mentioned tutorials. "Laboring at Home for Dummies"  Basically, the entire trick here is to be so confused by the fact that you know you are in labor but that the medical community has sent you home because you are not in labor that you become entirely unsure if you really are in labor. 

So, you lay your head down on the pillow, let your eyelids become heavy and drift....away.....into....WHAM-nope guess not-there's another contraction. Pretty much like a sledgehammer to the midsection and back. No sleeping here I'm afraid.


Then take a bath. Then go lay down. Then get throttled by the sledgehammer-like contraction again and promptly get up to lean over the bed and groan. Then do that a little louder to wake up your precious, living in sweet dreamland bliss of a husband. Hear him snort. Realize you don't want anyone or anything looking at you or talking to you so just give it up and let him sleep.

Then you proceed to the couch to watch CMT. Nope. Can't lay down. Then go take a shower and start to get ready for church. Just for the heck of it. You never know right? So...by the time you are ready to go,your little boys start squeeling and running up the stairs to greet who they hope will be their tender,loving ,gentle and sweet mother. Instead........they got a bear. So you get the point. And I got the point. I WAS in labor.

I will just fast forward the parts where I call the hospital. {becuase I don't want them to kick me out again but i really thought this could be it} Request the hospital people get their dang epidural people ready STAT. Call my sister in law to request my brother return to our house. Glare at my husband for eating not ONE, not TWO, but THREE hard-boiled eggs! And grab your pretty trench coat.By the time my brother arrived, I knew this was getting SERIOUS.

9:06 am- pulled the Subaru out of the drive-way.
Got on the road and realize we are having a blizzard. On May 1st. We are having a blizzard on May 1st?
Get halfway to the hospital and call the hosptial again. This time I am slightly yelling. "OK.....pant pant pant...nurse.......there is NO NEED for the triage room. Just get the epidural person up in the room NOW!". And the nurse says, "ok, just breathe and get here".Exit the freeway and pull up to the stoplight. Enter the poor old couple who witnessed the EVENT. Described HERE.

Again...still swearing at my husband to go through the blasted light. Husband still avoiding eye contact.
For good reason.Got a few more blocks. Starting to rip more clothes off. Seriously, I don't know why I did that? I was REALLY REALLY hot. Like hotter than I 've ever been.

Then get to ANOTHER red light and CA-BAM! There she blew! Perhaps one could say. My cup runneth over? The damn broke? Or, we could just get right down to it and say that my water broke.It would have been extra neat if this had happened in our nicely leathtered seated minivan instead of our hard to replace fabriced Subaru. But, it did. My water broke in the car. And that's not even the exciting part.

Now onto the "What To Do When the Lid Blows Off the Cooker?!"

Doot doot doot- doot doot doot doot. {that's me dialing up the hospital again}

The same nurse picks up the phone for the third time. So we knew each other by then.

Peggy: Labor and Delivery. This is Peggy.

Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Peggy, my water just broke....AND SOMETHING IS COMING OUT!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Peggy: Ok, ok, just calm down. Just keep breathing.

Me: I can't breath! Something is coming out of my body! I'm pushing! I can't stop pushing!

Peggy: Ok, DON'T PUSH! Whatever you do, DO NOT PUSH! Ok, you are going to have your husband just drive straight to the ER! Drive into the garage and we will meet you there.

Me: GET THE EPIDURAL PERSON READY!!!!

9:24 a m
We pulled into the ER garage and see 10 people and a gurney waiting for me. I rolled out of the Subaru and onto the gurney. They race me up to the 4th floor. 

Me: Pant, Pant, Pant, gasp for air. Scream. Epidural. Pant. Pant. I need the epidural now!
Nurse Bobbi means business: No, honey, I'm sorry. There's no time.
9:26am. Arrived to our room.

Me: still screaming. and pushing. and begging for some pain meds.

Nurse Bobbi means business who is now screaming back at me: SHANNON!!! Look at me in the eyes!!!!!!!! Close your legs and stop pushing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: silence. {gulping} 

Nurse Bobbi means business: You do NOT need to push. The baby is right here. Your body will do this for you. Just breath. Ok, guys get the delivery kit ready. The doctor is not gonna make it.

Derrick walks in the room. And grabs my hand.

And pop! Out HE flies!

9:37am. Beckett Cullen Heick enters the world.
Me: get him over here, get him over here!

and there we were. snuggled together just like we had been the previous 9 months. except in this moment..................we snuggled in reverse.









The end. Stay tuned for a few closing thoughts on Beckett's Blazin Birth-story.

3 comments:

Elizabeth B said...

oh my goodness girl! What drama! I cannot believe it! So glad you made it and Derrick wasn't delivering you by the side of the road!!! They should have known better than to send home someone who was on their third delivery! LOVE all the photos! Hope mine turn out as well. I am nervous about that part!

Heidi said...

Holy heck you made me cry!! That's just crazy labor lady!! I'm so glad it all turned out well and Beckett is just perfect! You, you may be scarred for life, but nothing like baby #3 to keep life exciting!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Shannon! What a story you have to tell him someday :) Glad you made it to the room in time! Kristi J.