Monday, February 20, 2012

insert cherries.

In my head, I thought to myself, "wow, that person personalized their plates with POLICE....that's cool?" 
The dang thing was unmarked. Except it was marked with plates that said POLICE. That could have been the moment I should have been tipped off. 

But, no. Not me. I whizzed right on by. 

Insert Cherries. 

And I SA-wear I wasn't speeding. I think I was 5 miles under actually. 

A few seconds before the cherries started swirling, I flashed back to a recent conversation:

Walking on the way out of small group with one of our small group couples. Andy, our awesome small group couple husband who also happens to don "the uniform" told me, "so hey Shannon, you might want to tell Derrick that you have a tail light out.....and your tabs are expired." 

Me: (laughing) oh yeah, those darn tabs. we keep meaning to do that. 

Andy: they expired in August.......... 

Me: (embarrased laugh)

So, THAT conversation started to resonate in my mind about the time the UNMARKED black SUV with all the computers and gadget on the dash {plus the POLICE plates. but otherwise unmarked} switched lanes into my lane and started getting closer and closer to me.  

Actually, NOW is when you can insert the cherries. 

So, I quickly pulled off the side of the road ready for my fate. I KNEW there would be a certain ticket written this day because clearly having :
1.expired tabs
2. burned out tail light 
3. and expired license (from JUNE!!!!!) 

might. just. seal my fate. 

So, he walked up to me and I welcomed him with a big old smile. One of those like smiles where your show your teeth and suck air in out of the sides of your mouth and open your eyes real wide, in an "uh-oh, what did i do wrong?" smile. you know the one. 

So he says, "do you know why I stopped you ma'am?" 

(ma'am....he just called me ma'am)

And I did the sinful thing and lied. 

Ughhhh, why did I do that????!!!! 

Anyway, he said, well, your tabs are expired and your tail light is out. 

And I said, oh man, I'm sorry. (show my teeth and suck in air again) 

Nice police guy: Can I see your registration.

Me: Oh yes, I know it's in here somewhere. Oh here it is! (proud of myself for finding it)

{let me interrupt to say that I may have had a few things on my side at this point}
{1. baby screaming in the car seat}
{2. super cute toddler in the back sesat}
{3. crazy, ridiculous hairy Goldendoodle wagging his tail, trying to stick his snout out the window} 
{4. some pretty sweet worship music playing on the radio}

Him: Ma'am, your new tabs are right here on your registration form. (while giving me a you silly girl smile)  

{baby still crying. dog still sniffing and wagging.}

me: oh my goodness! they were right in here! i've got to get those on!!! ha, ha!  

Him: ok ma'am, well you just put your tabs on but wait until you get home, ok? 
and you will need to get that tail light fixed too. 

Me: ok, thank you officer. i will, i will. i'm sorry. thank you. have a good day! 

Phew! That was close. 

So, I start shoving my expired drivers license back in my purse and he starts to pull away. 
Except he pulls up next to me and motions for me to roll down my window. 


Me: Yes sir? 

Him: Did you say this was a 2001 or a 2006? 

Me: Well, it's a 2001 I think. I mean I'm pretty sure. Like, we wouldn't have one that new. Plus the registration card said 2001 right?

Him: Yes, that's right. But my computer has you driving a 2006 Corsica. 

Me: Ha, ha, ha. Yep, this isn't a Corisica. That's funny. It's definately a minivan! 

Him: Well, you might want to get that checked out too! {big smile} 

So, that was strangely the nicest, most interesting pull-over experience I've ever been involved in. 

In retrospect, I do think having the crying baby, cute toddler, hairy beast of a dog and the worship music seriously scored me some points. I recommend have all three in your car at all times!

i'd even suggest adding a polka dot shirt to the dog. just for good measure. 

i'm totally serious. it doesn't hurt to be prepared. EVER. 

Now, it's about time I go get that license picture updated dontchya think! 

1 comment:

Elizabeth B said...

you are hilarious my friend