Saturday, December 12, 2009

little Boys, big Love and a Latte #4

About the Latte: (to the lady/guy at the coffeeshop) By the way. Can you make that non-fat, sugar-free, non-dairy? Oh yeah, and can you just go ahead and hold the caffine...and whipped cream?

Certainly not the way I like them. But most-certainly a new reality for me. For right now anyway. Until we get this monster figured out and under control.

About lBbL&L: And why it's been so neglected these days. My entire blog has been neglected for that matter. Truth is, I haven't felt much like writing. Well, I actually have but I'm just not sure what to write. And I really don't want to sound like a poor, sad case of a woman. I much prefer to be viewed as witty and fun in my writing style and life actually. However, my life has been far from that as of late. And I know the boys will look back on this someday. And I question whether I want them to read this or not. I'd much prefer for them to look back at my blog and say, "wow, it looks like we had a really great time during the Holiday season of 2009." But you know what. That would be a lie. I'm not so much a fan of lying. Now don't get me wrong here. We still have fun and I am trying to do many of the normal holiday things that normal, pain-free people do. It's just woven into my life along with aches and pains that leave me in tears at times. Bottom line wins out though. This is real and it's me.

About the pain. I now have a full understanding of the term "pain-management". And now I know why I don't want a full understanding of it. It's miserable. It's at times intolerable. This un-diagnosed form of arthritis and or auto-immune thing is like a monster. Jumping around my body attacking this joint or that joint, this muscle or that muscle, this tendon or that tendon. There's no rhyme or reason to why or where it will go next. And some days really are better than others. And some days really are worse. Luckily though, I have a super-duper helpful husband. He pretty much cooks all the meals. I hope he continues that once I 'm better. Cuz that would be even more awesome.

About the medical community: Four words. NOT ALL THAT HELPFUL. So, the rheumy told me I can't start the "treatment" until I quit nursing. So, like, whenever I decide to quit I should just come back. Maybe in like three months or so, he suggests. As long as I can manage the pain, it should be fine, he says. Slap em up side the head for not looking at my chart and seeing that I'm taking a teeny tiny dose of over-the-counter pain-killers. Which aren't really helping. Slap em up side the head for not recommending that I go ahead and change to a different over-the-counter and up the dose like to an amount that actually does something. Slap em up side the head that my mom has to figure that one out for me. And then finally, slap em upside the head for suggesting that I go and google this auto-immune issue and see what I think! See what I think? Seriously, who does that! Especially to me. The queen of googling things. Me and googling medical things is not a good combination. Just slap em again for that one.

About Faith and Hope: Lucky for me, my faith is in the One who made me and can save me, heal me, deliver me, relieve me, rescue me, protect me, strenthen me, restore me,what have you. God has been using this situation to reassure me that he will do just that. And that I should just continue right on believing that he will do what he says he will do. Not only that, but he provides me with wonderful people in my life who also remind of that. Case and point: my lovely siter in law made me some verses of encouragement to open up each day this week. Today's verse was this:

"Faith is the condidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we can not see" -Heb. 11:1.

the end. for now.


Leslie said...

Shanny - I am so sorry you are still struggling with this pain. You are in our daily prayers! I know you have the Lord's favor and He will make things better - somehow.
p.s. It's been a week and Benston's diaper sores are way better thanks to Corona!! One is completely gone and the other is almost gone:)

Shannon Joy said...

oh yeah,i am so glad Benstons sores are gone. Corona is AWESOME!!