Wednesday, February 27, 2008

On becoming a mom....'s an amazing experience becoming a mom. there are many miracles along the way. the positive test, the first time you hear the heartbeat, the first kick, the 4d images of your baby in the ultrasound, the first time your husband feels the baby kick, being able to see your baby move underneath your skin, the list goes on. it happens so fast and so slow at the same time. there are so many things to think about, worry about, and be excited about. the end can be miserably long when you are expecting it to happen "any day now". not knowing what to expect for the delivery takes you to a strange place. it's knowing that this extremely painful, yet beautiful experience is about to happen at any moment. it's knowing that I am soley responsible for getting this precious, delicate baby from the inside of my body to the outside world. sure there are doctors and nurses and one amazing husband assisting you, telling you what to do, holding your leg, talking to you, encouraging you...but there is only so far that can take you. there is something else inside of a woman that keeps you going, keeps you fighting. fighting for this little miracle you have come to know so well over the last 9 months. it's by the grace of god that this power is unleashed in a woman. and then it happens, he is born. he is placed on your chest. a beautiful, pink, naked baby boy. screaming, healthy lungs. between my sobs, i am saying shhh, it's ok. it's instinct, i want him to know we are ok, we are together. daddy is here. daddy is looking at us in amazement. we are all together now. in that moment everything is made new. our past is beautiful,but life will never be what it was before this moment. but this, this is our life. this is what life is.

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